By: Jesse Fader

…please let’s stop using the term “opening up” a pizza to describe rolling out dough.
You sound like an ass.


Scale (weed is legal, these are cheap and everywhere now)
Mixing bowl
Wooden spoon
Box grater
Cake pan
Resting rack
Spatula (or some kind of lifter to get the pizza from pan to said resting rack)

*If you have a pestle and mortar and a micro plane than you’re a Chef and don’t need me. Mostly you will need them for the garlic herb dip… if not use a big knife and take your time.


  • Dough
  • 395 g Bakers Flour
  • 15 g Salt
  • 395 g water (room temp)
  • 7 g Yeast
  • 2 g Sugar
  • 13 g Olive oil

Making Your Dough

This is a wet dough, a very wet dough 100% hydration which is nerd talk for equal parts flour to water. Don’t worry about mixing times or kneading and for sure don’t worry about stretching the pizza. You’re going to follow the steps below and pour the mix into the pan, BOOM, Ciao, you’re done.

Note: Dear Pizza persons, please let’s stop using the term “opening up” a pizza to describe rolling out dough. You sound like an ass. The only acceptable terms are “roll the dough” and “stretch the dough”… again, neither of which we’re doing… I just needed to air that out.

First thing you want to do is get some grocery isle bacon (6-8 slices) on a sheet pan and toss in your oven which should be as hot as it will go. Move quickly and make the dough while your bacon cooks.
*cooking bacon this way gives you nice straight flat slices so later your pie won’t look like shit.

Find yourself some strong bakers flour (or bread flour) I used a nice organic product I stole from Patti Robinson at my bakery cause “quarantine hoarding at Law laws…” but Robin Hood won’t suck. Using a scale set to grams, weigh out and combine the flour and salt, set aside.

Next begin by whisking together the water, yeast, olive oil and sugar. Let it sit at room temp while you ready your pan.

Grab a stick of butter and smear it over every square inch inside your cake pan. Remove bacon from oven, transfer bacon to a towel and dump bacon fat into cake pan with some Olive oil and let it cool a bit.

Return to the dough, add your wet ingredients to dry, or vice versa…really doesn’t matter. Stir with a wooden spoon until well mixed and dump straight into the middle of the prepared cake pan. Wrap tight with Plastic wrap and leave it somewhere warm to proof for an hour or two.


  • Sauce
  • 1 (28-ounce can whole tomatoes)
  • 2 Cloves Garlic (crushed)
  • 2 tsp Kosher Salt
  • 1 tbsp Dry Oregano
  • 2 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Making Your Sauce

You can pretty much find quality tomatoes anywhere these days, my favorite are by Bianca Di Napoli. I like to use whole tomatoes and crush by hand for a few minutes. Stir in crushed garlic, olive oil, salt and Dry oregano. This is a no-cook sauce. Freeze whatever you don’t use or make like ten more pizzas.

Top and Bake

Once your dough has filled out the pan and risen about 80% up the sides you’re ready to top and bake. The idea here (and the sole purpose of a square pie in my opinion) is to create “cheese walls” -the crispy cheesy perimeter to your oozy gooey center. Begin by adding shredded mozzarella around the edges first and give a little poke to help it get down some and then cover the remainder of the dough in cheese.

Next add dollops (maybe like 15 blobs) of sauce ON TOP OF THE CHEESE and lay your perfectly flat strips of bacon on top. Cover with foil and place into your screaming hot oven for 10-12 minutes.

After the ten minutes remove the foil and let the bacon get crispy and the cheese bubbly and brown, another five minutes. The pizza is done when the sides release and the bottom crust is nicely crunchy.

Using a spatula, gently slide the pizza onto a wire resting rack to cool before cutting, this will keep your pie from getting a soggy butt… use that window to make your dip.


  • Garlic Herb Dip
  • 1 Bunch of basil
  • 1 Bunch Parsley
  • 1 Bunch Chives
  • 2 Cloves garlic
  • 1 Jalapeno (halved)
  • 1 Cup Olive Oil
  • 1.5 Tsp salt
  • 2 Shakes *Magi Seasoning

Making Your Dip

Toronto doesn’t have a pizza identity per say, we have some really exceptional pizza but none of it was birthed here. What we did have was Ninny Massif’s on college and what we do have is the long line of pizza shops offering the eponymous crust topping garlic herb dip. If Toronto has given one unique and defining character to the pizza world, it would be this.

Bring a small pot of water to a boil, blanch all the herbs and shock in an ice bath. Wring the water out from the herbs and run a knife through them before adding to a pestle and mortar (if you don’t have one use a food processor or just keep chopping) add the garlic, jalapeno, salt and start smashing.
When you have a smooth consistency season with the *Magi.

I’m Positive this is not in the original recipe but Magi adds a pleasant savory depth and pretty much makes everything taste better.

Next find yourself a plate and drop a good splash of the herb dip onto it. You should have a shitty ranch dressing in the door of your fridge, now is it’s time to shine. Add a generous glue of ranch to the plate and as we’re all washing our hands incessantly, use your pointer finger to slash the ranch through the herb dip.

Get the biggest knife you have and cut you perfect pizza into 8 squares, give it a dunk in your dip and hand it over to you partner or someone you love. Devour the rest and feel the shame of eating an entire pizza in the pajamas you haven’t changed out of for 3 days.

Please share, thank you!

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